Parenting is hard even under the best of circumstances. When exes cannot see eye to eye, co-parenting can become much more difficult, especially when your one of them behaves in an obstinate manner. Medium offers a few strategies you can utilize if your former spouse is difficult when it comes to parenting decisions.
Parenting takes a concerted effort from both parties. When one parent undermines the authority of the other it can be a very serious issue, especially when it comes to decisions regarding medical care or academics. If you have shared legal custody, both you and your ex must make decisions together. When this does not occur, it is best to contact your legal team to discuss your options. You may need to return to court to modify the existing custody arrangement.
Respect is another huge issue. If your ex is disrespectful to you in front of your kids, it can have lasting detrimental effects. In this case, sit down with your former spouse and go over how damaging it can be for your children to hear harsh words, insults, and criticisms about you. Not only does it increase resentment between you and your ex, but it can also harm your relationship with your kids. Remember, kids take these words to heart, as they often consider their parents to be an extension of themselves.
Lastly, your ex may shut down when it comes to communication. While this is less damaging than constantly arguing, it also makes decisions impossible. All you can do is keep the lines of communication open on your end and continually reach out to your ex when decisions must be made. If your former spouse continues to give you the cold shoulder, consider modifying your custody order.